Portrait of The Artist as a Young Manic-Depressive
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
5:38AM - She's got my back
Do not lament for the way the Universe was or never will be again. She is always perfect for you now. Redecipher the heiroglyphs. Reconstruct the flawless feeling of a happy fatted mad genius stockpiling documents in his bunker daze before dropping dual soliloquys and off into livejournal dead air space for months, years or eternities at a time.
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
3:07AM - Indy Pendants Day
Fire works. I can get by with a microwave oven. Can a smartphone replace a computer? I haven't posted in almost five years. What have I been doing instead? These bodies are still here under nearly the very selfsame headstones. How long can we trust the Russians to preserve our mythologies? I can still read my mother's posts. You can still read mine. But for how long? Will well-enough be left alone. Monuments of mania and melancholy, standing still in digital eternity. Some more profound than others, yet all somehow more meaningful than a picture of my lunch. The most photogenic Hot Pocket of all time. This is who we are now, or who we allow ourselves to be. In ten years from now will you be satisfied with the social media footprint you're laying down today? How do you feel now about who you were ten years ago? Were the moments preserved in amber your best or your worst? Who's to judge?
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
:00hometown like dropping
0:02rockstar madam dunhill as i said in a couple of middle level somewhere
0:05i want to get my own dr did as he had to be here in the back seat he never comes
0:09out you don't see mister big you know larry
0:11figueroa six in the city
0:16charlotte's my girl p_r_ art gallery owner
0:19scores to settle down and so much tougher million dollars apiece
0:24keep in touch
0:25at my website oleoyl they didn't know
0:28if you look around you five hundred superannuation space so what are you
0:32hopefully those with two hands and said
0:38is extra fifteen sixteen seventeen and there's a street light
0:41just like ninety initiative or
0:44copout hopes one day
0:47thomas process no message
0:50which killed in an hour
0:58together using that nobody was willing world peace
1:00disposals it may concern
1:13conquest of silicon valley and carrasco mixed
1:16just first-graders to use of the planes
1:19unpopular though it has already burned out we'll break a deal with the devil
1:21just leave it
1:23i thought was a long time agrees that was my back ever since
1:27some of our bearings
1:28pleased to meet you know what's your guess not knowing
1:32just star micronutrient
1:36every voter barrow studio metrowest
1:39video camera a laptop and edited out of your cv right now is fast
1:47miami florida mourner raise on the playground as well as the most of these
1:55but driving or eyeglasses
1:57case even though
1:59the ban on mars
2:00sort of a life
2:08but i get away with it
2:17forward it what you do you work
2:22they've got to be a better though
2:25uh... i i'd rather than wholesaling those comments welcome
2:30minor i have lots of
2:33this low everything isn't it
2:40was only one word in his love
2:41everything else is just echo
2:47windows to provide
2:49where parking three that's where i'm at
2:53planned miracle seeds words which would win from the growth
2:57pcv ideas with your ideas
2:59forty deposed rutledge corporation
3:02if you've got to pay for doing what you love
3:09like the player to listen we'll do it
3:12do you have a real buyer
3:15which by cd provide a list
3:19that's a good start
3:20person who work with their
3:22so you a promoter you've got like opinions earlier before he was on a
3:25clear blue wedding birthday party where you want
3:28intelligent image of a superstar
3:32multimedia lots of you complete your party
3:34last night but then you get any kind if you want any candidates is you want
3:37we have to take it out later yours is a twelve
3:40this is larry if you hear prospects personal six
3:43new small businesses
3:44headquarters of the basic lately to any bar in town were least bookkeeper
3:48playing music writer
3:49places like you want to go in there but he's going to start
3:52cancun anti-smoking tourism done with this i mean the minister jordans are
3:55asking them to us on inside
3:59customer home mom
4:00haha slovonia customer from the center of my shoulder to dress up forty
4:14rolling stone google microsoft
4:17managers say at the moment
4:20blisters mister was this there will be
4:26who sent it yesterday
4:28six black but one of the united on their merit a role private
4:35ronald noble bird him a hard
4:36they world wrestling federation
4:39i could drop it the driver that had a couple of any radio station i want
4:45he'll get the students we know it in the studio
4:47right now in my car united record
4:49anywhere to put curator certainly downturns
4:53because they were mostly work is slow to realize their dreams
4:56very cold dinner tomorrow
4:57how good is news resolution
4:59every second you can add to your position is the right now unassailable
5:02iceberg go you know
5:05motivational speakers so to speak
5:10what would you do if you're the smartest seemed the ever
5:16we need to know what i'm doing
5:17which were white into the black would you wear red but you were blue
5:23some of those drivers
5:24then that a lot of
5:25power for like two delivery people that are going to have laid on the roster
5:28certainly need something done
5:29how do you look at some papers for me just
5:33hit by a thread of a black ford focus
5:36nondescript you know
5:37could be anybody
5:38when there were no names the guy
5:41occassions i guess was at his clothes like five mins i think the whole persona
5:46the contract it like
5:50marlon brando catherine misdeeds
5:54hahahahaha blah blah blah physical theatre on this these unfair
5:58fallible every minute disney musical
5:59birds land of my fingers are going to get to do
6:04you guys come here often
6:06cancer survivors right
6:11i'm a communist
6:13and that way to do is as i get up
6:17some say money is bad for the sole that for the rock is bad for the robot
6:24said michael you know i'm just
6:25aulamagna with him you know this is
6:33star wars will and is intended to someone
6:36timex hello aimed at twenty-seven best meet you know all of the nine hundred
6:41right now is the guy literally all civil degree the renowned this code is two
6:44hundred and learn in the please of course
6:50if they had given his rival for children
6:52stars are fall out of the sky entangled in the air instead of
6:56before the storm
6:59you up and i got a higher rate was adress to reagan way a black boxes
7:10there you go
7:11but anything else emplacement how u
7:16designs to reduce the incidence declining over summer so
7:20peter you know
7:23job a mile from where i you know
7:29mosquitoes menuitem it was like
7:30for everyone tickets young you know i'm busy and if you guys
7:34diplomas i mean
7:37take what you want it
7:38cake was you won't serve meat
7:50this words you can
7:56the series godson
7:59pump money are full of
8:01run down the street and see what i can produce
8:08hiding remind yet from what you are curiosities
8:14okay close your chance for all these days
8:18lost three and six minutes
8:28waiting for mom and
8:30twenty six dollars in my head
8:36not including eat
8:39the jury's communism or interest
8:43hillary dot realizes the prescribed figures and books ted
8:47they did this common when you're done
8:49he homework assignment
8:51killed right at the catholic church in regarding classics like the
8:54valedictorian speech the state of the world write a song that get end
9:00every action cv universal edges wasting our time
9:05predispose people as to float
9:07they're busy watching out for themselves and if you watch over the universe to
9:10watch over you know
9:12she takes care of it
9:15and a lot of the universe and shipped to take care
9:20tow the party delight
9:25still out tonight
9:33control i can go part of our free miami beach front row from nine a_m_
Thursday, November 7, 2013
11:57AM - Donde esta la biblioteca?
Ayuda me, Dios! Ayudame, hermanita! Donde esta la descargita? Porque yo tengo los azules.. Si, tengo hambre de amor.. I miss my baby... Dont see her anymore.. Any fucking day now... She'll walk right thru the door.. I get bored and I get lonely. I get chemically depressed. Sold my soul to Satan just to be the best. Got a bulletproof vest. Put my draw to the test. Gunslingers, hile! All the while you smile wile miles between us. I'm at a public library terminal in downtown Fort Lauderdale, Florida.. Come on vacation.. Leave on probation... I miss you, Emily! I need to give five twetny dolllar guitar lessons.. I need a book.. Zen Guitar.. Make it so.. I shot my load in a ten-dollar ho.. Finally.. Release! Sweet release! I'm coming Emily... I'm coming home!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Hot Plate: Lasagna, Lo Mein with BBQ Ribs, 2 Egg Rolls, Fried Rice
Cold Plate: Egg Salad, Tuna Salad, Bean Salad, Cole Slaw, 2 Deviled Eggs
1 Cup of Coffee with Equal on Ice
Dry Chinese food. No soy sauce. =( Whacked off a Texas Pete Original Hot Sauce bottle all over both plates as some sort of ghetto Sysco consolation prize.
Feet hurt so BAD. Kicked off shoes like a felon.
Mountain Dew on ice.
Opened all medications received from Walgreens. Disposed of papers and plastic bags.
Aripriprazole 30mg x 30
LiCO3 600mg x 60
Benztropine 0.5mg x 60
Levothyroxine 50mcg x 30
Abilify 90mg, 3g Lithium Carbonate, 5mg Cogentin, 450mg Synhtroid: Ingested in one heroic swallow.
Quick & Dirty Figurin'
$1089.1 + $38 + $12.4 + $12.6 = $1152.1 worth of medication for $0 co-pay PCP
3 minutes left to finish 2 colding plates within first hour. Time to shift into turbo mode. Abandoned plates one and two at 85% completion level.
TRIP 2 - "The Des(s)ert Pl8"
1 slice carrot cake, 1 slice blueberry pie, Fudge Brownie, Apple Cobbler, Warm Bread Puddin: all topped with soft serve froyo.
Bathroom Break One: 19 second urin8ion followed by trip #3 to Bar for the "Pub Grub Platter": Hush Puppies, Southern Fried FIsh, Battered Onion Rings, Steak Fries, Deviled Eggs and 1 medium sized whole fried jalapeño all drizzled (my nizzle) with ranch and horny mouse turds. By the time made back to my booth in the dunce's corner the froyo on my dessert pl8 melted. I will digest it anyway, dutifully.
Meditation & Acclimation Subroutine
Chomped about 59% of my whole jalapeño, butt end first. About as spicy as a pickaninny's watermelon. How I miss the preparations of Ruth(ie) "Roti" Singh-Lowtan, may she rest in pease. Chugged a sweet tea then the rest of my Mountain Doo. Sp(r)outed some bilingual freestyle for Miguel, my garçon-du-jour.
Mission to scout more varied beverage choices. Decided to order a root beer. Swung by the meat station to inquire about the ETA of real steak and hot wings. Ended up bringing a meat pl8 back to the booth: one half a slab of beef pot roast with attendant veggies and a chicken fried steak with gravy. Due to a lack of tabletop square inchage and its unfortunate resemblance to vomit, decided to abort the delicious but disastrous dessert pl8 - 19%
HOUR TWO - Poop Break 1
Back to the FuturaT face-filling fatast feast furniture, feeling kilograms less heavy--bowel movement tan, slightly watery but not a total diarrheaic splatterfest. Did the best asswipe job I could muster without bleeding on account of the sub-disneyworld excuse for toilet paper. (Note to Self: Next time--if there is a next time--bring several dozen sheets of the blessed Quilted Northern.) Washed hands with the lukecool water and returned to BOOTH.
Getting real itchy here. Must make unplanned return trip to restroom to complete half-assed wiping job. Broke the paper towel machine in the handicap stall halfway off-the-wall by slight accident. Went at total anal cleansing with a wet paper towel from the anterior dispenser. Squeaky clean.
Experiment terminated by unanimous consent. Left on table: SRTB SweetRoot TeaBeer (2 glasses), meat plate (9%) and bar plate (25%).
Saturday, March 23, 2013
This is me huffing on the exhaust of my fucked up flux capacit0r. I arrive to enlighten th33 from the red planet shining above. Rust never sleeps. Playing for keeps. Playing to lose. Velcro shoes. I am such a friggin retard. I was almost self-sufficient but like that rusty trombone player Neil Young howled... Why do I keep fucking up? Well? Oh yeah! I'm nucking futz... I am a MONSTER betw33n the sh33tz.. Sl33ping that izz..Is this enough? What is better: A twenty page Kerouacattack.. Or fifty on kawaro adam bombz over bag, dad!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
5:42PM - WTF PowWeb!?!
This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.
A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its
recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed:
mailbox is full: retry timeout exceeded
------ This is a copy of the message's headers. ------
Received: from impinc02.yourhostingaccount.com ([10.1.13.102] helo=impinc02.yourhostingaccount.com)
by mailscan16.yourhostingaccount.com with esmtp (Exim)
for firstname.lastname@example.org; Tue, 28 Aug 2012 17:38:27 -0400
Received: from mail-vc0-f179.google.com ([126.96.36.199])
by impinc02.yourhostingaccount.com with NO UCE
id sMeT1j02a3sqBYZ02MeT1d; Tue, 28 Aug 2012 17:38:28 -0400
Received: by vcqp16 with SMTP id p16so6086284vcq.10
for <email@example.com>; Tue, 28 Aug 2012 14:38:27 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;
Received: by 10.220.215.66 with SMTP id hd2mr15986111vcb.55.1346189498701;
Tue, 28 Aug 2012 14:31:38 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.220.181.74 with HTTP; Tue, 28 Aug 2012 14:31:38 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2012 17:31:38 -0400
Subject: EMILY SAYS I LOVE U
From: Timothy DeMattio <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Cc: postrockalypse <email@example.com>, firstname.lastname@example.org,
Timothy DeMattio <email@example.com>
Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary=bcaec54ee72aded7f304c85a2ace
Thursday, August 2, 2012
12:29PM - Sitdown Comedy II
So, anyways... Two Jews walk into a bar and no one pays for shit.. An Irishman walks out of the bar.. What the fuck?!? A man walks into a bar and dies of a massive cranial hemmhorage. He should have ducked. Speaking of duck, have you ever had any good Chinese food? Dog Fried Rice is divine.. General Tso's Housecat will make you cream your jeans. My pants are always falling down. I lose so much weight. I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me with your belief in strange dianetic realities? I stopped taking my psych meds weeks ago. I'm a friggin amog scientologist! I'm clap you on the back, long and fucking hard, just like that overgrown midget Tom Cruise. He lost Katie Holmes. That spaced out baby mama is fucking AVAILABLE! She wants to go back to her Catholic roots? Well, she can suck my Catholic root all she wants. Hey there. Sorry to be brisk, but, I'm the second coming of Christ, you're Mary Magdalene, I need a blowjob right now! I'll explain it all later, Honey.. Speaking of honey, I once had a beautiful latina porn store employee on my futon in my bedroom at my dad's old house in Miami Gardens. I picked her up over in the Love Boutique on Miami Beach.. I walked in there late at night went up to the hottest bitch in the room and asked her, "Do you know where I can get any free condoms at this hour?" She said "No, but I can sell you one of these for ninety nine cents." So, I buy the condom and go back upstairs to my car in the upstairs parking lot. Then I come back into the store with my guitar and spend the rest of the night hanging out in the store jamming for all the hot girls that work there and when I left they gave me a huge bag of free condoms to take home with me. That's what I'm talking about! I don't know how much sex these ladies of the night seemed to think I was having but apparently I looked like the kind of man who gets a lot of ladies. I used to have lots of ladies. When I was spaced out, wasting away in Gainesville in 2004, I had 3 or 4 beautiful girls who were willing to answer phone calls from me any time 24/7 and take dictation for me because I was channeling god and coming up with brilliant flows of words and was way too fucked up to hold a pen or operate a cell phone. Speaking of cell phones, isn't that the greatest and worst invention of all fucking time? Think about it. The cell phone allows crazy people to walk down the sidewalk or street muttering or shouting at the top of their smoke damaged lungs the most vile vicious and otherwise insane babble you ever heard. "YOU FUCKING BITCH I WILL CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!" Is that man crazy? No, wait... he has a cellphone held to his ear. He must be talking to his ex or something. What a cunt! Also, remember back in the eighties and nineties when you called someone on the phone and they weren't there you were just shit out of luck. "Hi, is Klaus there?" "No?" "Okay.. well... if you see him, tell him I called." Nowadays people are always connected. Their phone is within reach of their fat grabby American hands 24 hours a day. Yet, when I call people on the phone they never answer. What are they doing that is so important? They can't be always having sex or taking a shit when I call. People just fucking hate me. And they make me listen to like the full four fucking rings too. Like, instead of doing the polite thing and sending me straight to voicemail, they make me waste moments of my precious time listening to the phone ring or, even worse, some lame-ass ringback tone. Why? Are they seriously holding their phone, staring at it, contemplating whether or not to answer? On no! Budda Holly is calling... He'll talk my fucking ear off! I do, too! Telemarketers call me and I keep them on the phone for days. I am the greatest phone sex operator of all time. I have unlimited minutes and unlimited texts and I'd love to hear from you. I'm on T-mobile and have been since 2008. I think I owe them $4000 dollars but I stay with them for one reason, customer service. Cause when it comes to plain old "service," things can get pretty dire. I can't even get a signal in half the places I go. When I do get a signal, though, I call people up and ask them strange questions. What's the mammal with the smallest penis that hangs down? Marmoset. What's the mammal with the largest penis that hangs up? CLICK!
Monday, July 30, 2012
5:31PM - Sitdown Comedy
Greetings earthlings! I am Budda Holly. That's Buddy Holly with an A instead of a Y. Why? Because we love you. M-O-U-S-E! Have you ever been to Disney World.. on mushrooms?!? Talk about a fucking trip. That place is ridiculous. They got all these people walking around, making minimum wage, dressed up as all the favourite Disney characters of your youth. And they have to play the part and can't break character for anything because it will freak out the kids or something.. So that gives you carte blanche to get wasted and walk around and fuck with them.. Like, say for instance, you can walk up to the hot ass British girl playing Alice from Wonderland and you can ask her "Say, did you fuck that White Rabbit again last night?" and she'll reply with no hesitation "No, we're just friends." But these people that work there are ridiculous.. Like, you can walk over to Agrabbah and they got this hot ass Indian girl dressed up like Jasmine and some hot ass Puerto Rican guy dressed up like Aladdin and they're probably fucking each other in the Utilidor every night, but, you walk up to Jasmine cos you want to look at her chest and ask for her autograph and you get there and some Disney Cast Member holds up a sign saying "Jasmine will be right back. She has to go feed Rajah" which is Disney code for she has to go take a hit off her crack pipe and take a shit, but they don't say that in front of the kids. Gotta keep up appearances. And all these kids that work there are all these crazy drama class kids with delusions of grandeur and they all live in these apartment complexes all around the park, having orgies and doing the best designer drugs you can afford on seven dollars an hour. My Mom worked in the Magic Kingdom for a week. She had to quit. She couldn't handle the partying. My mom was a good lady. She died five years ago. I didn't kill her but I did start the fire that burned my dad's house down, but that's another story. But, yeah. I was sitting in my bedroom at 4am on June 14th 2007, listening to music on my huge ass Peavey PA and downloading illegal Super Nintendo games for my SNES emulator program. Speaking of SNES. I will school anyone in the world at Mortal Kombat II. Five dollars a game. Shang Tsung Wins. Double Flawless Victory! Fatality! Friendship! Friendship... again?!? But, back to my mom... it's 4am and she calls me on my cellphone. My dad and sister are both sleeping in their own respective bedrooms.. she calls me and says come to the living room I need to go to the hospital.. She had been having chest pains and trouble breathing for a few days, she was fifty.. So i go out to the living room and she tells me to put the 14 year old geriatric dog and my sister's psycho calico cat in my dad's bedroom so the paramedics could come in and get her.. So I do it.. and the ambulance comes and they put her on a stretcher and as they're wheeling her away she says to me "Make sure you go to your competency class tomorrow" cos I was on pretrial release at the time for some trumped up charged I caught over in Fort Lauderdale, but that's a story for another day.. But anyway.. To make a long story short (too late!), those were the last words I ever heard her say, because after they drove off toward Memorial Pembroke Pines with the lights flashing I went back to my room to resume my downloading.. Then I went to competency class in the morning, came back home, and finally went to sleep.. My dad comes home, knocks on my door and says "Tim, come out here." So I leave my room and my dad looks at me and my sister and just said "She's gone." and my heart hit the floor. It was like the scene in Bambi where Bambi's dad comes down and tells his son what's what after the hunters shoot his mom and if i just ruined the movie Bambi for you, fuck you.. you should have already seen the movie by now you poor excuse for an American. But anyways, yeah.. My mom dies and then my dad turns into a total fucking nudist, right? He starts going to this "Seminole Health Club" out west on Griffin every weekend. Calling me up saying shit like "Wanna come over, get naked and eat some pizza?" I'm like, "No, dad, I don't want to get naked and eat some pizza. How about you give me a twenty dollar bill and the car keys? But anyways, yeah.. Do you know the most popular guy at the nudist colony is? The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts at the same fucking time... Now THAT's fucking FUNNY!
Monday, June 25, 2012
2:03AM - The Postrockalypse Party
This post is to announce the presidential candidacy of one George Brandon Byram, the smartest man I've ever met besides the man in the mirror, Jesus Christ, our personal Lord and Saviour. I will be his running mate. We are running for the Postrockalypse Party, which has been going on since 2004. Details are available at world famous postrockalypse.com, which if you explore like an Egyptian pyramid will grant you much wisdom and insight. Us two badass American geniuses are a great alternative to the likes of four more years of bullshit from the likes of Barack Obama, Mitt Romney and the rest of those pedestrian promise peddlers. It's time to let the best and the brightest have a chance to lead our great nation. Please support us in our quest in any ways you can and will. Thank you and God bless America the Beautiful.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
2:17PM - mk uLTRA
Easter Saturday party on Spotify! Rocking 'Til Tuesday up next or right now. CLick her(e). I saw Aimee Mann once. Don't think she saw me.. praying for your firstborn on an Easter Eve. Segues into Hank Williams Your CHeatin Heart as sung by whoever for a dollar a song somewhere southeast of bourbon street in New Orleans. Stop cumming on my computer keyboard, silly Japansese sex robot. Shang Tsung wins, Flawless Victory!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
3:40AM - Sazon Caribe
I went out tonight and partied at Sazon Caribe, a Dominican restaurant by my current (but not-so-future) apartment. They told me to come back when I was better dressed. I thought I was rocking some green shorts and a pink Pink Floyd The Wall shirt. What did I know? I was dancing my ass off with everyone willing to try, even a few of the tipsier gentlemen. The guy that sent me home gave me two dollars for my troubles. I am a legend in the streets. Women have dreams about me and don't remember why.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
12:01PM - Think Fast, Young Insomniacs
It is the noontime, the lunchtime. Shall I have another bologna and mayonaise sandwich? Or should I instead sup upon a freshly made bacon, egg, cheese and hot sauce burrito? The choice is all mine. Choice. CHOICE! Reads the same forward and backward in a mirror. And how have you been, my darling? I miss you ever so much, you know? Come dine with me. Let me cook you breakfast. Tofu and annatto seeds. Bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches. Anything you want, my love, my dear, my darling? I miss you so much!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
8:09AM - Easy Street Blues
I tried to make the most of my last day in New Orleans. I started the day completely broke. I made three dollars, which were tossed to me as I sang Come Together karaoke at Cats Meow. Then my aunt gave me a fin. My eight dollars were spent wisely but not too quickly. I met all sorts of interesting people on the streets of New Orleans: over by the church, up and down Bourbon street, in and out of the strip clubs. After I spent all my money this guy gave me ten dollars so I could purchase the one drink minimum at Big Daddy's world famous gentlemen's club: topless and bottomless, so they say. I ordered a Jameson Sour but they were out of sour mix so I settled on a Jameson and Ginger. Me and my new friend, who kept giving me dollar bills and cigarettes, closed the club down then went in search of a 24 hour bar. We found Last Call and 2 people therein bought me longnecked Budweiser bottles. Then I noticed the sun had come up which signalled that I should really head back to the hotel post haste. My aunts told me to be back by 3am, but I couldn't stop partying so early on my last night in Crescent City. So I got back around seven in the morning, chatting up every passing stranger on the way back home. Now it is time to catch some shuteye before we have to check out and head toward home. I lost my cellphone last night. It was sometime during my sessions with the tarot card readers. I think one of those hustlers pocketed my phone with all my precious phone numbers. They are all lost now, c'est la vie. Voulez vous? Poulet!
Friday, September 23, 2011
1:30AM - The Big Easy
I find myself in a fifth floor hotel room overlooking the French Quarter and beyond. I want so much to climb out this window and roam the city like a dog in heat. It's cooled off some now that it's past midnight. I didn't sleep at all last night. I was out partyin' until eight in the morning. So tonight I will rest my weary soul in preparation of a wonderful Friday. Then Saturday we're out of here and headed back to sunny south Florida. The magician's underwear has just been found floating in stagnant pond on the outskirts of Miami, so they say. They talk a lot. Will you help me fight them off?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
One time I was preaching in the surf with my guitar and a cloud of silver fish jumped into my mouth to punctuate a particularly profound paragraph.
4:31AM - The Big EZOD
Handful of red pills. Handfuls of blue pills. Take two of these (pamphlets) and call me in the morning. Seriously! First thing when you wake up. Make my phone vibrate in my pocket. 954-338-0376 is the number, if you dare. I love long rambling conversations on (m)any a topic. I love dogs, cats, birds, and well-behaved children. I cook, I clean, I play, I sing. I sing my sadast lovesongs for nickels and tablescraps. Little Timmy Tupper, singing for his supper of bologna and mayonaise sandwiches. Send me some Tomatoes, Tom Robbins. I will send you readers. http://postrockalypse.com/library
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
But, I'm as good once as I ever was. Your greatest moments are your new baseline jumper cable tie tack attack. But, enough about me. How are you guys doing tonight? Stop laughing at me. Laugh with them! I am hilarity. And hilarity ensues. Stop Bandname Stop. FYI
Monday, August 15, 2011
12:28AM - Fast, young insomniacs!
Lay down the fork, fatty. Pick up a guitar. Smash it over the head of the nearest offensive individual. Buy him a drink. Propopse marriage, cheaply but honestly. Rinse. Repeat.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
5:37AM - Full Moon Mania
Say goodnight on a night like this if it's the last thing you ever do. Ever get that itch to howl at the moon in rage against the dying love. Bring back that lovin' feeling. I wanna feel like a virgin. Feels like the very first time. Does it feel familiar. Do the old combos and fatalities work as well as they used to. When I grab your neck and pull your head and spinal cord from your body, be prepared to congratulate me with your dying breath you worthless ragged cunt.
Navigate: (Previous 20 entries)